The upcoming inauguration of President Barack Obama is cause for celebration. But how best to ring in a new era of truth, justice, and the American way? Here are a few tips to help you get the most out of January 20!
Tip 1: Recover from Hangover from January 19 Party! (Important)
Like most Americans on George Bush’s last night in office, you’ll be tempted to celebrate by getting sloppy drunk. (Even he may join us!) But you’ll enjoy Barack Obama’s inauguration more if you’re awake and not suffering from a blinding headache all day long. If you do overindulge, remember that lots of water and magnesium supplements can help get you back on your feet — so that you can start the celebration all over again!
Tip 2: Wear Something Kicky and Festive!
Tip 3: Decorate!
Jon Feldstein has something other New Yorkers only dream of: a terrace! Granted, it’s less than a foot wide, but at six feet long, that terrace is the perfect place to corral guests outside in the cold. This way, they’ll know exactly how it feels to stand on the Mall in Washington during the Inauguration. (And by locking a few dozen guests in the bathroom, Jon can give others a feel for what it’s like in a network television anchor booth!) But even if your party space is a humdrum rumpus room, you can make it come alive for Inauguration Day.
There’s nothing like a big old banner to set a party mood!
Tip 4: Don’t Forget the Party Favors!
Tip 5: Be Sure to Run a Thorough Background Check on the Babysitter!
Tip 6: Party Like It’s 1999!
That’s right — the most important tip is to pretend that George W. Bush’s presidency never happened! Remember pregnant chads, “Bin Laden Determined to Attack,” Shock & Awe, “Mission Accomplished,” Abu Ghraib, Guantánamo, Katrina, global economic crisis, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, Rove and Alito? The only correct response is simply this: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Tip 1: Recover from Hangover from January 19 Party! (Important)Like most Americans on George Bush’s last night in office, you’ll be tempted to celebrate by getting sloppy drunk. (Even he may join us!) But you’ll enjoy Barack Obama’s inauguration more if you’re awake and not suffering from a blinding headache all day long. If you do overindulge, remember that lots of water and magnesium supplements can help get you back on your feet — so that you can start the celebration all over again!
Tip 2: Wear Something Kicky and Festive!
Tip 3: Decorate!
Jon Feldstein has something other New Yorkers only dream of: a terrace! Granted, it’s less than a foot wide, but at six feet long, that terrace is the perfect place to corral guests outside in the cold. This way, they’ll know exactly how it feels to stand on the Mall in Washington during the Inauguration. (And by locking a few dozen guests in the bathroom, Jon can give others a feel for what it’s like in a network television anchor booth!) But even if your party space is a humdrum rumpus room, you can make it come alive for Inauguration Day.
There’s nothing like a big old banner to set a party mood!Tip 4: Don’t Forget the Party Favors!
Tip 5: Be Sure to Run a Thorough Background Check on the Babysitter!
There are a lot of creeps out there.
Tip 6: Party Like It’s 1999!
That’s right — the most important tip is to pretend that George W. Bush’s presidency never happened! Remember pregnant chads, “Bin Laden Determined to Attack,” Shock & Awe, “Mission Accomplished,” Abu Ghraib, Guantánamo, Katrina, global economic crisis, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, Rove and Alito? The only correct response is simply this: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Don’t you feel better already? Party on!
No comments:
Post a Comment