What Quiz Are You?

Take this quick and easy quiz to find out!

1) The highest level of education you have completed is
a. High school
b. College
c. Graduate school
d. Vocational/technical or obedience school
e. Facebook

2) Your favorite color is
a. Red
b. Blue
c. Yellow
d. Mauve
e. Facebook

3) Friends and co-workers are apt to describe you as
a. Highly motivated and hardworking
b. The life of the party
c. Intuitive and caring
d. Armed and dangerous
e. Obsessed with pop culture and trivia

4) In your spare time, you enjoy
a. Watching television
b. Gardening
c. Team sports
d. Sudoku and other forms of masturbation
e. Endless hours on the Internet.

5) When anything of even minimal significance occurs in your life, you immediately
a. Twitter
b. Twitter, but using Twitter, and not just making twittering noises
c. Otherwise notify hundreds of “friends,” whether they care or not
d. Add an inscription to your mausoleum in Illinois
e. Take another quiz

ANSWERS

If you answered mostly “a,” you are What Stooge Are You?
Your time is valuable to you, so you take only quizzes with very few potential results. In extreme cases, you may even be the quiz Are You Joe Besser?, a one-question quiz with only two possible answers.

If you answered mostly “b,” you are What Element on the Periodic Table Are You?
Highly analytic, you reduce any problem or situation to its essence. Also, you are probably interested in science, since most of the rest of us don’t even know the difference between one element and another.

If you answered mostly “c,” you are Patsy Cline.
No, really, you are. Though many people believe you are dead, you continue to sing a number of toe-tapping, heart-tugging pop–country hits in a mellow, plangent contralto. I realize that this result is not, strictly speaking, a quiz, but please bear in mind that, in all likelihood, you are “Crazy.”

If you answered mostly “d,” you are What Character from 17th-Century French Literature Are You?
While waiting to find out whether you got tenure, you drink heavily, engage in vicious arguments with your spouse, and sleep with graduate students of all sexes. In your heart, you are secretly afraid of Virginia Woolf. You wear mostly black, and you smoke clove cigarettes.

If you answered mostly “e,” you are What New Jersey Town With Population Under 5,000 Are You?
And I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am.

If you took this quiz in the first place, you are What Quiz Are You?
That’s right, you are this very quiz! Burdened with entirely too much spare time and abundant but unfocused curiosity about yourself, you’ll take any quiz you see! Pat yourself on the back! And then compare your answers with those of your friends!