A Lesson in Art Appreciation

That face! Those eyes! Those Lipitor!

The New York Times reports that Vito Franco, professor of pathology at the University of Palermo, has diagnosed Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa with high cholesterol. He cites “a subcutaneous accumulation … around her left eye.” And in Franco’s view, it doesn’t matter whether Leonardo himself understood Lisa’s cholesterol problem: “The people depicted tell us about their vulnerable humanity,” the professore told La Stampa, “independently of the awareness of the artist.”

This is fascinating information and, of course, it contributes so much to our understanding and appreciation of one of the masterworks of the Renaissance. Inspired by Franco’s groundbreaking analysis, I sought out a local pathologist, Dr. Tara Biscotet of the Beynes Free Clinic, to ask what other medical conditions may be depicted in famous works of art.

Vermeer: Girl with a Glass of Wine
Yeast infection

Franz Hals: Laughing Cavalier
High blood pressure

Titian: Doge Andrea Gritti
Gingivitis

Bronzino: Eleanor of Toledo
Flatulence

Goya: Saturn Devouring His Children
Sleep apnea

Leonardo: John the Baptist
Erectile dysfunction

Caravaggio: Love Triumphant
Hemorrhoids

Velázquez: Infanta Maria Teresa
Menstruating

Botticelli: Birth of Venus
Hypothermia

Bosch: Garden of Earthly Delights
Bat-shit crazy