15 May 2010

My 35 Years without Opera

Imagine, if you will, that when my godmother invited me to the opera on 15 May 1975, I said, “No thanks.” What would my life have been like? Here’s a sugestion ... submitted for your approval.

My name is Bill. That’s me, doing a little shopping at the supermarket on the way home from work. Middle-aged, heavy-set. No, not that guy, the other guy. Yeah. I’m the one in the grey overcoat. I know it’s mid-May, but the weather’s been so changeable, and you can’t be too careful. Especially in the frozen-food section.

I’m just picking up a few TV dinners for next week. I’m not surprised you didn’t notice me. Why would you? It’s been a long time since I thought I was anybody special. Not since I was in junior high, if you want to know.

Back then, I wanted to be a writer. But then — what’s the expression? “I put away the things of a child.” The older I got, the more pointless it seemed, really. Like studying French. Mother said why not study accounting, it’s so practical. So I did.

I’ve been with Consolidated Office Supplies for a long time. Hard to count the years: one day is just like any other. Now that so many offices are going “paperless,” though, we’ve had layoffs. I’m probably next. Nothing I can do about it.

I play a lot of video games. That’s my idea of excitement, I guess. There’s never anything good on TV. I don’t listen to much music. It’s just something in the background. Somebody else’s background, not mine. I see people getting excited about a song, and I just don’t understand what the big deal is. I don’t read much. Nothing really holds my interest, you know?

Funny to think that I ever wanted to write, or travel, or see a play. What made me want those things? I don’t remember. Maybe it was sex. Everything comes down to that, right? I tried dating a couple of actresses when I was in college. It never worked out. I live alone now.

That’s my story — no story at all, really.




This exercise was so depressing that it requires an antidote.
Fortunately, Marilyn Horne has provided one.



2 comments:

  1. Well damn. That really IS a Twilight Zone rendition of your life! Thanks for the sad, awkward laugh...

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  2. one of your many ex gfsMay 30, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    This exercise is so depressing, it reminds me of my life. Going through a hellish midlife crisis of late. Glad you followed your muse,though !

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