09 October 2009


The Nobel committee today awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize to U.S. President Barack Obama, stunning even his biggest supporters.

As a service to my readers, I’m releasing the names of several other candidates for the Peace Prize this year. Though they may not have won (yet!), they deserve our attention and respect.

Pat Feuillete, Johnson Space Center, Houston, TX
This NASA Engineer persuaded his colleagues to blow up only part of the surface of the moon on 9 October 2009.

Joe Jonas, Hollywood, CA
Although he hasn’t done as much to promote world peace or to end human suffering as some rock stars, such as U2’s Bono, Joe is younger and cuter.

Sasha and Malia Obama, Washington, DC
Did not raise their voices, strike each other, or lose their tempers on 17 June 2009, even though those were so Sasha’s favorite sandals.

The Cast of TV’s Glee, Lima, OH
After only a few episodes, this show can be sort of fun. What do you say we give ’em some kind of a prize?

Susan Boyle, Blackburn, West Lothian
Need we really explain?

Anyone Else Who Is Not George W. Bush
We saw a number of talented candidates from this pool, many of whom were not George W. Bush in any way whatever, and all of whom promoted the cause of world peace and international diplomacy through the nonviolent means of not being George W. Bush. The Nobel Committee wants to endorse this attitude, wherever it may arise.

Barack Obama recently renewed his pledge
not to be George W. Bush.

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