28 January 2010

Technology News: The MorinIpad Is Here!

Ideally suited to Kindle,
though possibly not the way you were hoping.

Boasting countless applications and a uniquely user-friendly technology, Anna Morini has unveiled the new MorinIpad.

“The MorinIpad requires absolutely no recharge in order to function beautifully for hours on end,” Morini told reporters at a hotly anticipated press conference that has been the buzz of the Internet for weeks.

“And I do mean hours,” she added. “You could pull an all-nighter with this one. In fact, you probably have to. I’m looking at you, Jean Dirks.”

Asked for further specific, illustrative examples of the MorinIpad’s special features, Morini (widely regarded as the visionary who invented word processing) cited messaging and file-sharing, and pointed out its “extraordinary adaptability to our trademark cut-and-paste technology, making it ideal for writing a five-paragraph theme on the role of conscience in Shakespeare’s Macbeth, due Thursday.”

“But that’s tomorrow!” one reporter was heard to exclaim, going on to double over, clasp his head in his hands, and groan, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.”

“At MorinIcorp,” Morini said in her concluding statement, “the future is now.”

Industry insiders report that Microsoft will shortly announce the development of a competing technology, with some sort of spiral.

NOTE: If you don’t understand what I’m talking about — or even if you do — check back with me on Sunday. All will be revealed.

(Consider it a kind of Apple for my teacher.)


Mark Woods said...

I loved your post! It brought back so many memories, though some should probably have remained hidden. ;) I probably still have a set of index cards stored somewhere!

Anonymous said...

I love it. Who needs word processors? I have the Morini method!


strangeshe said...

I still use the Morini method to this day. Of course now it's usually with Post-Its. Is that cheating?

Looking forward to reading Sunday.


William V. Madison said...

I guess I was even more rebellious than I knew: I had forgotten about the importance of index cards to the pursuit of the Morini Method. I wonder whether I even used them -- and whether that lapse might explain why Mrs. Morini was never persuaded by my claims.