19 September 2012

Why I Enjoy ‘Modern Family’

I admit I may be a little fuzzy on the details.

By W. Mitt Romney,
Guest Columnist

Ann and I were talking to our good friend Kelly Ripa yesterday, when she asked what my favorite TV show is. I gave her the same answer I always give: Modern Family, the popular half-hour documentary series on ABC, which is part of the Disney-ABC Television Group, owned by the Walt Disney Company, the largest media conglomerate in the world in terms of revenue.

Now, when I say that I enjoy Modern Family, some people are always surprised. I don’t see why.

After all, Modern Family has the word “family” right there in the title, and family is what makes this country great. Also, the word “modern” is a reminder that it’s important to keep up with the times, which I certainly do. Now, this is a time when Americans need to hear specificity from their leaders, so let me get specific about why I like this show. In many ways, this is the best reality series on TV today, showing how most Americans really live.

The Pritchetts are a lot like the Osmonds, really.

Modern Family is about the Pritchetts, who are solid middle-class Americans, earning upwards of $200,000 a year in this failed economy. Like most of us, they live in very, very small, very modest but comfortable houses in the suburbs, where the lawns are green and the trees are just the right height. All the Pritchetts have garages that are big enough for a couple of Cadillacs but no elevator.

The head of the family, Jay Pritchett, is a job creator of some sort, and he has a swimming pool. Not Olympic, but it’s a nice pool. His little dog sure does seem to enjoy it.

Jay lives with Gloria, his housekeeper; and her son, Manny. Now, Gloria and Manny are from Colombia, and I can’t understand anything they say, which is a little bit of a disappointment. While the show doesn’t go into specifics, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Gloria and Manny are in this country legally.

Slice of Life: Here, the Pritchetts’ housekeeper
serves the Sunday dinner.

Jay’s daughter, Claire Dunphy, lives down the street. She’s really not my favorite person on the show, I must say, because she can be a little too aggressive for my tastes. She drinks wine and she works outside the home, but she has three attractive children, and her husband, Phil, is a serious, down-to-earth guy who sells real estate.

After Jay, my favorite on the show is probably Cameron, who’s the very nice roommate of Mitchell Pritchett. Now, let me see if I can get this straight: Mitchell is Jay’s son and Claire’s brother, and he lives on the same street as the rest of the family. Mitchell reminds me of a boy I went to prep school with. He’s an attorney, while his friend Cameron is a nanny who looks after little Lily, a Chinese girl whose parents we never get to see.

Babysitting the little foreign girl: In a failed economy
like Obama’s, I guess her parents are too busy
to pick her up after work.

Some of you may say that being a nanny isn’t a very macho occupation, but don’t worry, because Cameron used to play football. Also, since he and Mitchell never even touch, I’m sure there’s nothing — you know — funny going on. I do hope Cam checked to make sure that Lily’s papers were in order! Usually you have to worry about whether the help is in this country legally, instead of the other way around.

Now, every week something goes wrong for some member of the Pritchett family or for Mitchell’s friend Cameron. Sometimes all at once! My goodness, that’s exciting. But the documentary crew manages to take it all in. And because Jay believes in the American way and the free-market system, because the Pritchetts don’t take handouts but do take responsibility, the family always manages to get through their troubles. Best of all: in the end, week in and week out, Jay knows best.

So that’s why I like Modern Family. I can’t always watch it as closely as I’d like, but it’s the best documentary show on TV right now. Things may get a little racy sometimes, but there’s no sex or violence. Modern Family tells it like it is.

For example, in these tough economic times, sometimes even single men have to live with roommates. You can see in this picture how lonely they are. But don’t worry! I’m sure Mitch and Cam will find some nice girls and get married some day!

NOTE: For those seeking a little more background, this article from the Advocate, entitled “Gov. Romney Didn’t Know Gay People Had Families,” may prove enlightening.

1 comment:

Michael Leddy said...

Very entertaining post, Bill. This is a great show, and Mitt Robot’s professed affection for it baffles me.