17 December 2014

Cuba Welcomes Discussion of Human Rights

HAVANA -- As President Barack Obama declared that normalizing diplomatic relations with Cuba will give the United States the chance to engage the island dictatorship directly on the subject of human rights, Cuban President Raúl Castro announced that he welcomes such discussions.

“Obviously we have a great deal to talk about,” Castro said. “For example, 716 in every 100,000 Americans are incarcerated. We’re nowhere near that level! Granted, our prisons are in some ways even more brutal than American prisons are, but that’s what these discussions are about: a frank exchange of ideas about making people even more miserable behind bars.”

Castro also indicated that the recent Senate report on U.S. use of torture in the war on terrorism could be of particular interest to the Cuban government. “There are several areas where we could really refine Cuban techniques,” Castro said. “That whole ‘rectal feeding’ thing? Genius!”

Among the other topics Cuba hopes to address is voter suppression. “Let’s face it,” Castro said, “we’re a bunch of hopelessly clumsy amateurs compared with statehouses across America.”

In all, Castro said, Cuba “eagerly awaits stern moral lectures from a country that jails one in every three of its black males, a country that makes basic health care all but inaccessible to millions of its citizens, a country that enslaves its college students in debt, a country that subsidizes its banks and large businesses but lets its children go hungry. Yeah, seriously, America. Bring it on.”


Nan said...

Awesome summary of the facts! We do have a lot to learn from each other, as countries who do things differently. I am thrilled about the beginning of the end of the embargo.

Anne said...

Very, very funny and on right target...the ink isn't dry on Senate report on our torturing some folks...that should make us shut up for at least awhile about other counties practices ...but , nah, we are too exceptional to let that stop our finger wagging.

Anonymous said...

Sixty plus years for the revolution that hasn't revolved in sixty years and has the same and now ossified brothers atop it all that time. What a fine example of a fine example. The USSR collapsed in seven decades or so, so the time is ripe.