13 June 2011

Scandal over Photos Escalates

News organizations came under increasingly heavy fire today after it was revealed that the Associated Press news services, as well as print and electronic outlets such as The New York Times, CNN, and My Weekly Reader, had been transmitting photographs of a turgid, discolored, possibly engorged Boehner — in most cases to persons who did not choose to view such material and who were offended by the images.

Many of the photographs appear to have been taken on federal property, including the floor of the House of Representatives itself. In a statement typical of hundreds made by rank-and-file citizens to reporters across America, Susannah Elders, a housewife and mother in Dicktown, NJ, said, “I am outraged by this disgusting display, by the abuse of the people’s property, and by the appalling lack of judgment on the part of anyone who would disseminate these terrible Boehner pictures.”

Ms. Elders then added, “Won’t somebody think of the children?”

In many of the most severely criticized images,
the Boehner appears to be secreting unidentified fluids.

Fueling the controversy, it appears that the Boehner photos are only the start. Testifying before Congress this week, a panel of photo editors admitted that, at various times throughout the year, they had also transmitted other questionable images, including Irish actor Peter O’Toole, German conductor Christof Prick, and former President George Bush. But a majority of Americans surveyed said the images of Boehner were the most disturbing of all.

“If I pick up a newspaper or open an e-mail, this is definitely not something I want to see,” said Jack Bates, a retired forklift operator in French Lick, IN. “You can’t unlook a thing like that. What’s worse, it’s interfering with my ability to concentrate on the debt ceiling and other pressing issues of our time, on which all citizens should be engaged.”

In an unrelated item, House Majority Leader John Boehner told reporters, “It’s pronounced ‘BAY-ner,’ you moron. And besides, Republicans don’t do that sort of thing.”

Doubly disturbing: Child-advocacy and church groups claim
that images such as this one are unfit for young eyes.

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