04 October 2012

Liberal Mob Demands PBS Cut Funding for Jim Lehrer

ARLINGTON, VA -- Minutes after the conclusion of last night’s debate between presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, an angry mob of liberal voters gathered here outside the headquarters of the Public Broadcasting Service to demand an immediate cut in funding for Jim Lehrer. The veteran anchor, 78, served as moderator for the debate.

Arlington police estimate that as many as 800 protesters surrounded the PBS building, blaming Lehrer for President Obama’s disappointing performance in the debate.

“When the economy is in trouble, there’s no reason the American people should pay for something they don’t need,” said one protester, Viva Maxwell of Silver Spring, MD, who carried a hastily made banner that proclaimed “Moderation in the Defense of Obama Is No Virtue.”

“Instead of asking Mitt Romney the toughest questions and ‘gotcha’ follow-ups to trap him in his lies and make the President look good, Lehrer let Mitt run around the stage and babble on without any kind of restraint,” said another protester, Charlie Henderson of Richmond. “He didn’t even ask about the 47 percent! Mother of mercy, what kind of moderator is he, anyway?”

The exit is that way, Mr. Lehrer.

“At the very least, Jim Lehrer should have punched Mitt Romney in the nose,” agreed Mack Einaeugig, of Georgetown. “What are my tax dollars paying for, if not for a debate moderator who will punch Mitt Romney in the nose?”

As protesters linked arms and sang “We Shall Overcome,” a McLean woman, Mrs. Billie Joe Hallson, surveyed the scene.

“I just hope that cutting funding for Jim Lehrer solves the problem,” Mrs. Hallson told reporters. “I mean, what if he isn’t to blame? What if President Obama just had a crappy debate? What would become of us?”

On the bright side, at least we can say the Obama campaign was telling the truth when they said he’d be disappointing in the debate. We won the battle for low expectations!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great post. I would like to see more like this. And by the way, I know of a publication that is hiring political satirists. (Strong preference for those with a 30 waist who weigh less than they did in high school.)

-- Rick