Backlash Ensues over Santorum ‘Blah People’ Remark

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum denied recently making comments about “black people’s lives” after receiving criticism for the remarks. Santorum took heat after saying, “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.”

During an appearance on FOX News Channel’s The O’Reilly Factor, he denied ever making the comments, saying the remark was the result of “a little bit of a blurred word.” “I looked at that, and I didn’t say that,” Santorum told O’Reilly. “If you look at it, what I started to say is a word and then sort of changed and it sort of — ‘blah’— came out. And people said I said ‘black.’ I didn’t.”

-- from The Huffington Post

LITTLE BORES HEAD, NH -- Dull, uninteresting, run-of-the-mill, and downright mediocre people are up in arms following what they construe as “an unwarranted, frankly bigoted attack” from Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, a spokesman for the League of Boring Voters, Herbert Velveeta, said today.

Since attempting to excuse what many interpreted as a racial slur, Santorum has been on the receiving end of a frothing wave of anger from protesters who dog his campaign appearances but who otherwise wouldn’t have the gumption to say “Blah” to a goose.

“We thought he was one of us,” Velveeta said. “He even wears sweater vests! But until we get an apology, we’re going to bang the humdrum loudly, I promise you.”

Blah voters are estimated to represent approximately 30 percent of the American electorate, said statistician Ludlow Ogden Schnorr of the Nebraska Institute for Statistics. “Blah Americans can be found in every community, every faith, and many lines of work,” Schnorr said, “including chartered accountancy, bookkeeping, cheesemaking, computer repair, and — this will surprise a lot of people, given how exciting the field is perceived to be — even statistics.”

Despite his near-victory in the Iowa caucuses last week, the chances of the former U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania may be affected negatively by the backlash in the aftermath of his “blah” remark, but many New Hampshire voters said they had yet to see Santorum’s appeal.

“I’ve never believed that Rick Santorum shared the values of rank-and-file Blah Americans,” said Jane Smith, of Happy Valley, NH. “He’s always talking about sex. It’s like the man is obsessed. Have you seen his Google site? Disgusting!”