30 August 2012

Disney Imagineers on Standby for Romney Speech

A prototype for the Romney 2012.
The beard tested badly with focus groups and was eliminated.

ORLANDO, FL -- Specialists in robotic technology at Walt Disney World resort here are on high alert as their most ambitious “audio-animatronic” creation yet, presidential candidate Mitt Romney, prepares to make his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in nearby Tampa.

“We’ve worked for years on the Romney 2012 model,” said lead “Imagineer” Roger S. Wathel. “Any kind of malfunction would be hugely embarrassing, both to Disney and to the thousands of American citizens who have voted for the prototype already.”

A team of top imagineers is standing by at the convention center now, ready to snap into action in the event of short-circuting, programming or audio failure, or mechanical breakdown at any point during Mitt Romney’s speech, Wathel said. “We’ve got our best people working ’round the clock to make sure the model remains as lifelike as possible.”

If elected, the Romney 2012 could stand
alongside these prior models.
Unless of course something goes worng.

Party leaders selected the Romney 2012 model after determining that flesh-and-blood candidates were too unpredictable, frequently straying off-message, disobeying orders, and making outlandish choices of running mate. The Romney 2012 “is a candidate every Republican can get behind,” Republican Party Chairman Reince Priebus has told reporters. “This country cannot afford another four years of failed Obama policies.”

The stakes couldn’t be higher, Wathel confirmed, which has put tremendous pressure on his team. “We tried to warn the Party about setting expectations too high,” Wathel said. “Then what do they do but send out the Romney-A to ‘humanize her husband,’ as they put it. Thanks for nothing!

“[Disney Chairman and CEO] Bob Iger nearly blew a gasket when he heard that,” Wathel added, “and by ‘blew a gasket,’ I do mean ‘blew a gasket.’”

No comments: